“I am no messenger. But I will give you a message. The message…OF DEATH!”
Only The Darkness would have the balls to kick off their record with a Hawk The Slayer line, leading into their blood-pumping tribute to love and bicycles ‘Nothin’s Gonna Stop Us’, sounding for all the world like they’re off to storm the castle on their fixies. This is rock ‘n’ roll with rrrrolling ‘r’s, twin-harmony guitar solos and very high voices, and it’s been too, too long since we heard its like.
‘Every Inch of You’ is technically the first track, but that functions more as a prologue, introducing us to the first stirrings of rock ‘n’ roll dreams within young Hawkins. “Hawkins? Who dat?” I hear you ask yourself in Internet English. He’s in a band with his brother and his two best mates, since you ask.
Enough foreplay. We’ve already heard these two beauties as singles. So what’s new and gnarly here for the eager Darklings who’ve been waiting for this record since late last year? Try ‘Forbidden Love’, a thrilling hybrid of the band’s last two records, combining all the dangerous distortion of ‘Permission To Land’ with the tender orchestrations of ‘One Way Ticket To Hell And Back’. Dan and Justin’s guitars growl and moan with snaggle-toothed joy, squeezing every drop of mouth-watering tone from their favoured Les Pauls. Yes, this was worth waiting for.
There’s something admirably Queen-ish to tracks like ‘Keep Me Hangin’ On’ and ‘Living Each Day Blind’. It could be the melodies, bouncy and alluring without losing that essential air-punching groove. Then again, it might be the deadly, treble-stinging precision of those skull-splitting guitar solos, hitting all the right spots time after time after time again.
No. By themselves those qualities could make a good record. What is starting to equal The Darkness and Queen in spirit (if not execution) is their dedication to making their audience feel like they could take on the whole world and win. After all, we’re not wallowing in emo-type despair or heavy metal poetic suffering here; ‘Hot Cakes’ is a collection of songs designed to make you feel great about yourself. What’s more, they provoke irresistible urges to sing about it. In falsetto.
Of course there are bound to be a few cries of blasphemy. If not from infuriated Queenies (Queenites? I don’t know, make up your own collective noun), then from the Radiohead fans, for The Darkness daring to cover ‘Street Spirit (Fade Out)’. Well, tough juggins. The Darkness have been playing this dark, edgy arrangement since their earliest days on the club circuit, and getting a riotously delighted response every time. Now, at last, it’s caught on record.
As gorgeously rounded as this record is, it’s not without its flaws. ‘Love Is Not The Answer’ isn’t the best it could be; the pacing and arrangement feels a bit indecisive, fighting shy of a full blown power ballad a la ‘Love Is Only A Feeling’, but a smidge overwrought for a simple rocker. It needs the lighter touch afforded to its earlier demo version (thoughtfully included on the Collector’s Edition). ‘Pat Pong Ladies’ goes for a ‘Fat Bottomed Girls’ vibe in a Bangkok setting and doesn’t quite distinguish itself enough from the rest of the material here.
‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Love’ has no such trouble standing out from the crowd, as a sweet acoustic ditty amongst the electric mayhem preceding it. But where other bands call in the smushy string section, Dan Hawkins channels a bit of Brian May’s magic from ‘You’re My Best Friend’ instead, throwing in a bright and playful guitar solo exactly where it needed to be.
Prizes for pleasant surprises must go to ‘Cannonball’, for calling on Jethro Tull’s mighty Ian Anderson, showcasing his mad mystic flute stylings alongside the lads who grew up idolising him. It’s a fitting climax to such a rich, vibrant record as ‘Hot Cakes’, even if you are expecting Justin to cry ‘Hey, AQUALUNG” at any moment.
Truth be told, you never know what to expect from this record. For a band who wear their influences proudly on their sleeve (in tattoo ink, no less), they’re no more musically predictable than their heroes. ‘Hot Cakes’ will live up to its name. It will surprise and delight. It will prompt more than one air guitar moment; hopefully somewhere public, where you’ll have room to skid across the road on your knees playing your heart out, imagining you’re the third Hawkins brother.
Have fun storming the castle.
