As the 2010 World Cup kicks off today, we thought we’d take a look at the murky world of Football Anthems. Occasionally brilliant, often total drivel, they’ve become as synonymous with International tournaments as Brazilian magic and England penalty shoot-out defeats. Here’s some of the best and worst examples.
The Thirty-Yard Screamers…
Well, there aren’t many. But when they’re good, they do tend to be very good, and when an act gets it right, their tracks can be remembered and re-visited for years to come. Here’s a few which bucked the trend and became huge hits with fans:
Baddiel, Skinner & The Lightning Seeds – ‘Three Lions’ ,1996
Comedians David Baddiel and Frank Skinner were certainly the obvious choice when they were asked to do the official song for England’s 1996 European Championships campaign. The pair’s football-themed chat show Fantasy Football had become a firm favourite amongst football fans, and with England set to host their first major tournament since 1966, the FA went with the popular vote. What wasn’t obvious however was that the pair would, along with Britpop band The Lightning Seeds, pen what is probably now the most enduringly popular song with supporters. Replacing the blind optimism for down-to-earth realism, the track perfectly summed up the mood in England in ’96, and quickly transferred from the music charts into a firm terrace anthem. As England progressed on through the tournament it seemed everything was in place for ‘Three Lions‘ to soundtrack England’s glorious march to the final. Then, the Germans came along in the semis and…we’ll leave it there.
The disappointment of 1996 did nothing to dampen the public’s love of the track though, and an unofficial re-release for the 1998 World Cup also hit the top of the charts. Still a firm favourite amongst England’s support, it will no doubt still be sung proudly by the legions of England fans in South Africa this month.
New Order – ‘World In Motion’, 1990
Until ‘Three Lions‘ came along, this was the benchmark for all football songs, and is still the favourite amongst many fans. New Order were the first genuinely respected act to pen the official England track, and what a job they did. Unlike virtually every other football song, ‘World In Motion‘ would have been a hit at any other time of the year, and is simply a great song in it’s own right. It is now best remembered for John Barnes doing a surprisingly decent, and now infamous rap – something which seemed impossible after Liverpool’s 1988 ‘Anfield Rap’.
As with ‘Three Lions‘, the track launched England into one of their most successful campaigns ever, with Gazza looking un-stoppable and Sir Bobby guiding England through tight matches against Belgium and Cameroon. Then, the Germans came along in the semis and…we’ll leave it there.
Fat Les – ‘Vindaloo’, 1998
Well this shouldn’t have worked. It had daft lyrics and very little to do with football apart from the great insight of ‘we’re gonna score one more than you’. Yet it definitely does work, and it shows that as long as a football anthem is upbeat and catchy, it can be forgiven almost anything. Helped by a brilliant video mocking The Verve’s ‘Bittersweet Symphony‘, the song had a close battle for that year’s no.1, but narrowly missed out to the re-worked ‘Three Lions‘. Full marks for a track which is the exception to the rule that an unofficial, novelty track must be absolute kack.
Andy Cameron – ‘Ally’s Tartan Army’, 1978
If ever a song summed up the blind optimism of a nation pre-World Cup, it’s the track which sent Scotland’s 1978 squad off to Argentina. With the lyric ‘And we’ll really shake them up/when we win the World Cup/cos Scotland is the greatest football team’ the song’s mood echoed the belief shown by their manager Ally McLeod (pic), who firmly believed a successful tournament lay ahead. Unfortunately it didn’t happen, and Scotland were on the plane home after the group stages after being beaten by Peru, and drawing with Iran. But if there was ever a track which understood what football is all about, it’s this one, and is another track which remains a favourite with fans to this day.
…and the Own Goals:
Really the list of bad football songs could go on forever, and the long trail of disasters seems to be added to with every major tournament that goes by. Here’s a few of the more memorable ones:
Del Amitri – ‘Don’t Come Home Too Soon’, 1998
If there’s one thing a football anthem should be, it’s inspirational. As Baddiel & Skinner showed, a bit of realism doesn’t go amiss, but it’s a wonder the 1998 Scotland squad even bothered to get on the plane to France after listening to this. The song lacks any passion whatsoever, and contains moments of real hope such as ‘The world may not be shaking yet/but you might prove them wrong/even long shots make it’ – yeah, thanks a lot lads. Let’s be honest, Del Amitri were always playing with fire on this track, and in the end, Scotland did indeed come home too soon, in fact, before this particular song was even officially released. Ah.
Ant & Dec – ‘We’re On The Ball’‘, 2002
It is amazing that the two men behind PJ & Duncan produced such an irritating song, but somehow they managed it. Whoever it was in the FA who though it would be a good idea to bring the pair back into the music world was hopefully sacked immediately. ‘On The Ball’s‘ tongue-in-cheek mood should’ve been left to the usual unofficial tracks which appear in their thousands every four years, and as England went down to Brazil in the Quarter Finals, the Geordie lads thankfully silently went back into their far more successful TV career, hopefully permanently.
Udo Jürgens & DFB ELF 1990 – ‘Wir Sind Schon Auf Dem Brenner’, 1990
If only the 1990 World Cup had been decided off the pitch. With England proudly led by New Order’s ‘World In Motion‘, the German team had this slice of electro-pop nonsense. Like a particularly cheesy Eurovision entry, it’s chosen here really because it has everything that is traditionally bad about football songs all on it’s own – players singing completely out of tune, a hilariously awkward looking video and above all, a totally duff song.
England United – ‘Top Of The World‘, 1998
While the unofficial tracks ‘Vindaloo‘ and ‘Three Lions 98‘ were slugging it out at the top of the charts, this limp effort from Ian McCulloch and The Spice Girls along with a few others was thankfully shunted into the sidelines. Quite what Ian McCulloch was thinking is anyone’s guess, and in the video he sounds and looks totally uninterested, almost as if he’d rather have been charging down a high-street with Keith Allen on ‘Vindaloo‘. Of course, around 1998 The Spice Girls were contractually obliged to be involved in everything, so they’re in there too, which makes it even worse.
(Dave Smith)
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Never mind the anthems get rid of the swarm of bee’s ffs
i love football i hope england win win win
paul is definitely the greatest oracle